What words are left in me?

 

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My pen dips softly

Into ink

To see

What words are left in me.

 

No vista’s

Nothing but the ceaseless wind

Lurking my memories

Into corners of despair

And unclear thought.

 

She’s gone

So much is clear

The girl I brought

Into this world,

Once world of Joy

Now world of Pain.

 

My Joy, my precious darling

With her wit and charm

She lies in darkened earth

Sheltered from wind and memories.

 

She comes in dreams of pristine white

To others

Not to me

Who seeks her everywhere.

In flowers, beasts and birds.

 

I see her here

Slipping round corners

The diamond smile

Steals over a bronzed shoulder

Giving me hope

Against hope.

 

For sure, her lips are dead

And pale, so pale

I never saw before.

Her eyes dark sparkles of delight

Are marbles without shine

The long lashes creased.

 

If no more pain for her

Means

This pain in me

Then tell me

-Whoever is in charge-

Is there truly no end

To suffering?

 

Joy’s beauty shattered

Into a myriad

Of pieces

Pierced in so many hearts

That bleed from crimson wounds

Of  so much love and care.

 

No comfort in the love as yet

Just shredded tear-soaked tissue

Raw, bruised, defeated.

 

I cannot go on, I can not.

Don’t ask me to live again

Life’s for the living

Sunshine, good fortune, laughter and the rest

I am no part of that.

My days are veiled

In seeking answers, seeking her

My self wrapped up

In black and agony.

 

She’s safe, so much is clear

Has taken up her high position

Amidst the Angels

But I, my mortal self,

Weeps with the winds

For God and daughter

From now on

Together, There, Away, Above.

 

While I

Am here

Dipping my pen

So softly

Into ink-black words.

 

14-04-2014

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