Most of us are familiar with this poem and like it for its spiritual and uplifting message. Humans have a need to believe that when things are really, really tough some benign power will come and reach out to us. Even a sworn atheist will be tempted to call out for help from a higher power in times of crises. And I mean real crises: car accidents, severe illness, a mental breakdown.
But is it true? Are we actually carried across the abysses in our lives? Or do we summon some supernatural power in ourselves that make it possible to do the impossible: cope with extreme situations.
I have had to deal with such a crisis in my personal life in recent months and its culmination was scheduled for last Tuesday. My daughter had to undergo a dangerous and life-saving operation that lasted more than ten hours. It took place after eighteen hospitalised weeks, full of anxiety, despair and total enfeeblement.
There is no way you can prepare for such a day as a parent. As it drew nearer, I knew I would have to face one of the blackest days of my life, possibly the blackest and my only real armoury would be my rosary and my prayer book.
But there was more.
We had a wide web of well-wishers.
There was my Facebook support group who was holding an online vigil all day long, praying, burning candles, sending positive thoughts from all over the world to my family and me. Also hundreds of colleagues, friends, family members, neighbours were thinking of us in their own way. Closer to my daughter was an extensive group of hospital staff and doctors, who have nursed her for months and have become very attached to this wonderfully brave young woman. Right in the middle was the family in the hospital, both my daughter’s in-laws who are Muslims with their prayer books, beads and head scarves and my own Catholic family, each praying in our own but similar ways. The intention identical, the actual worship slightly different. Circles within circles, everyone embracing us in his or her own way.
But was the human factor enough? And was it all?
There is a saying that we only get as much as we can take and although I would rather drink a beaker of poison than go through that day one more time, it was do-able. We were carried through it until the last couple of hours when the surgeons were supposed to have re-emerged from the operation room and the waiting became unbearable. The worst scenario was starting to doom up in our minds and we almost lost it. But even then a doctor appeared out of nowhere, at exactly the right time, who was able to phone the operation room and tell us they were almost finished and the operation had been successful.
The patient is slowly recovering and so are we in our own way. Exhausted and mute in the face of so much suffering… but surviving.
So were we carried?
Oh yes! I can whole-heartedly say to you that we were carried throughout the entire ordeal, even in the darkest hours. Both by humans and by God.
There is no way one tiny human being such as I would have been able to do this on my own. Such stress can only be endured with Divine Grace. I felt it going with me wherever I went as a constant lightness, an unwavering faith in the midst of darkness, omnipresent, all-knowing, the real organising power of the universe.
I would like to say a tremendous THANK YOU to everybody, who was with us in spirit. I will never forget your help.
Life, vulnerable, breakable, wounded Life is Holy. I will continue to kneel for It in reverence.
Hannah, this is beautiful, heartfelt and moving. Although I was unaware at the time of what you were going through, I’m happy to know you felt you had the support you needed. May all be well now, for all of you. xx
Hannah, I’m so happy for your daughter, you and your (extended) family of relatives and friends that the operation went well. Hallelujah is in place.
my theme for many years is when you don’t know what do, pray. I do believe its one our greatest gifts we can give one another. My thoughts and prayers continue my friend…and your welcome:)
It was truly an amazing time, to feel that so many people were pulling together, and I am so pleased for you all that things are going well. I will continue to hope and pray for a full recovery. xxx
Beautiful words and an inspiration to others. Love, prayers and a big hug. Xxxx
What a heart-warming piece, Hannah. I am so pleased all went well for your daughter. The anxiety must have been unbearable at times. How wonderful for you to have experienced such support from so many caring people.
Hannah, thank you for sharing this. I’m so glad all our prayers were answered. And by sharing this, you have encouraged all your friends who were praying both for Joy and for you, and particularly those praying that the Lord would indeed carry you. It’s always a great encouragement to hear that He has answered (even though we believe He will!). I’ll be continuing to pray for Joy’s complete and swift recovery.
What a stressful time this must have been for you, Hannah. And what an enormous relief that the outcome of such a long operation was successful. May your daughter heal well. Blessing and love.
Hannah – so eloquent and profound, heartfelt and spoken from the most sacred parts of your innermost thoughts…and at a time of trial…I am deeply moved by this…my wife and I embark on much the same path in the morning, not knowing where it will lead, but praying there is light and life somewher further long the way…
Be at peace and be steadfast in your faith that there is something, someone greater than all watching over you and yours.
A lovely blog written from your heart, mind and soul. No one knows for sure what is out there. Despite my education I always come back to the fact that creation is so diverse and so perfect that it cannot have happened all by chance even if so many years were involved. I believe you were given the people around you to help you. Although none of this would have been possible if you did not play the key role that you did Hannah.
Thank you for sharing and for instilling hope in some of us who can doubt. Much love, sunshine, healing and rainbows to you, your daughter and all whom you love.
What an amazingly touching story, Hannah. The hardest person on the planet could not fail to be moved. Good health to your ever loved daughter and a happy future to you all. Gordon
Hennih, lovely piece and such a moving story. x
Dear lovely Hannah,
I have just discovered what you and your beloved daughter have been through. Your faith has been tremendous and you’ve proved yet again the power of love and prayer. I admire you so much for sharing what you felt and what you all went through at the time. It must have been agony. Yet, you kept strong. God bless you both. xxxx