This is the first time for me to use speech recognition (Dragon Naturally 13) for my writing. I must say this is an exciting new adventure, which I hope will help me to break through my writer’s block.
Because that I’ve lately been suffering from writer’s block is a fact. I hate myself when I’m unable to write; I hate that bleak life, in which the words won’t come and I feel alienated from myself. Staring at the blank screen for a considerable time, sometimes even 15 minutes or longer, is hell. Even when there are some sentences on the page, I just hate them. They do not seem to vibrate within me, they feel forced, unnatural. My inner self beats me up for these feeling of inadequacy. I am just make-believe, trying to tell myself I’m a writer, which I know I’m not. Those lost words on the page are screaming that loud and clear.
I think that this emptiness inside me, this inability to live with and in my words, words that I normally love so much that jotting them down is what I cherish like nothing else in life, this void makes me so sad that I don’t feel like doing anything else anymore either. Not writing for me is depression. When I stare at the emptiness on the page and the blankness of my imagination, I do not know where to turn to anymore. Writing is like breathing for me, story-telling is the fabric of my life, but I go through so many periods that nothing comes to the surface. A huge struggle within without an outlet. Despair.
Trying to see if I can tell my stories instead of writing them down is hopefully one of the ways forward. I’ve been dreaming about this device for the past couple weeks, what it would be like to talk instead of type, to see if words would come more naturally and whether I would enjoy it. I think I do. I feel more energised trying to find a way for the words inside me to come out through my mouth. I’m still far away from returning to the three books I’m am currently writing:
Agnes, the second book in the Daughter of the Alvar Series
The House on Broadway, the third book in the Jenna Kroon Series
Miles From Home, the book I’m writing together with my American co-author Lee Carey.
These three books are my projects for 2017. Whether speech recognition is the new system that’s going to help me get these new stories down on paper? I can only be hopeful about that.
I will definitely keep you informed, dear readers, how I’m finding my way with Dragon Naturally. Wish me luck.